僕にはどうしてわかるんだろう <Vaundy> Lyrics Analysis

11 min

This article is generated by AI based on lyrics content and online information. The viewpoints presented may contain interpretive biases or information errors, so please read critically.

I hope this article provides a different analytical perspective and welcome discussion and corrections.

Core Theme and Message

“僕にはどうしてわかるんだろう” (Why Do I Know?) is a deeply introspective song that explores the origins of human passion, mission, and identity. Vaundy explores the existential question: where does the “unfounded confidence” to achieve something come from? He suggests that our sense of purpose might be tied to a larger cycle of existence—a “reincarnation” or a repeating loop of fate where we are guided by something beyond our conscious understanding.

The song’s title, “Why Do I Know?”, refers to that inexplicable, intuitive sense of “knowing” one’s path or feeling a deep connection to a mission, even when logic cannot explain it. It is a question asked in the midst of self-doubt and struggle.

Connection to the Background Story The song serves as the theme for the 5th-anniversary project of the TV drama PJ Koku Kyunan-dan (Pilot’s Joy), which follows aviation rescue teams. The pilots in the drama face extreme uncertainty, life-or-death decisions, and the heavy weight of their mission. Vaundy’s lyrics mirror this; the “monochrome” periods of struggle and the “unfounded confidence” required to face a storm at sea perfectly encapsulate the lives of those who operate in the thin line between life and death. The song transforms the physical struggle of a pilot into a spiritual journey of self-discovery.


Lyrics Analysis

The Search for Self

今晩は降りる駅を変え
Tonight, I changed the station where I get off
僕の心に咲いていた
That which had been blooming in my heart
小さなプライドの行方を探した
I searched for the whereabouts of my small pride
ずっと 気づけなかったんだ
I hadn’t realized it for so long
僕の心がどうにも
That my heart, somehow…
あの聴きなれたリリックで
Through those familiar lyrics
涙を流し出すまで
Until I finally began to shed tears

Interpretation:

  • Imagery and Symbolism: “Changing the station” is a metaphor for changing one’s direction in life or breaking a routine to find something lost. “Small pride” represents the fragile sense of self-worth that often goes unnoticed until a moment of crisis.
  • Language Features: The use of “somehow” (どうにも) creates a sense of helplessness, suggesting that the emotional breakthrough was involuntary.

The Construction of Identity

今どうにか言い訳探して
Now, somehow searching for an excuse
目をそらしてみようが
Even if I try to look away
きっと僕以上に、僕以前に、僕よりも
Surely, more than me, before me, and even more than I…
僕のことつくってる
…are what truly make me, me
僕にはどうしてわかるんだろう
Why is it that I know?
迷える日々がこれとない味のエッセイ
These wandering days are an essay with an unparalleled flavor
僕にはどうしてわかるんだろう
Why is it that I know?
挫折の日々は色づくため 全部モノクロ
The days of setback are all monochrome, so that they may one day gain color

Interpretation:

  • Rhetorical Devices (Repetition & Parallelism): The phrase “more than me, before me, more than I” (僕以上に、僕以前に、僕よりも) uses rhythmic repetition to emphasize that our identity is not just our current consciousness, but a cumulative result of our past, our subconscious, and the external forces that shape us.
  • Metaphor: Life is compared to an “essay” (エッセイ). This suggests that life is a narrative being written—imperfect, perhaps messy, but uniquely “flavored” by its struggles.
  • Symbolism of Color: “Monochrome” (モノクロ) represents periods of despair, emptiness, or lack of direction. Vaundy posits that these colorless periods are necessary prerequisites for a “colored” (meaningful) life.

The Intensity of Experience

今晩は歩く道を変え
Tonight, I changed the path I walk
僕の心に撒いていた
That which I had been sowing in my heart
小さなプライドの香りを辿ったが
I traced the scent of my small pride, but…
時は真夏 荒天と海神
The time is midsummer; stormy weather and the Sea God
蒼炎際立つ 骨相青に溶け
Blue flames stand out, melting into the azure of the skull
モノクロは焦シアン蒼白へ
Monochrome turns to scorched cyan and then to pale
言葉足らずでいつも見失うの
Because my words are always insufficient, I always lose my way

Interpretation:

  • Imagery: This section shifts from internal reflection to intense, almost violent natural imagery. “Sea God” (海神) and “Stormy weather” (荒天) evoke the danger faced by the rescue pilots.
  • Color Theory: The lyrics move through a spectrum of blues: “Blue flames” (蒼炎), “Azure” (青), “Cyan” (シアン), and “Pale” (蒼白). This creates a sense of overwhelming, cold, and intense sensory input, mirroring a moment of extreme crisis.
  • Language Features: The phrase “words are insufficient” (言葉足らず) reflects the struggle to express profound, overwhelming experiences through the limitations of human language.

The Flashback of Life

悲しみは言い訳の数で
Sadness is measured by the number of excuses
目を閉ざしてみようが
Even if I try to close my eyes
ずっと僕以上に、僕以前に、僕よりも
Surely, more than me, before me, and even more than I…
僕のことつくってる
…are what truly make me, me
まぶたに映った映画
A movie reflected on my eyelids
僕にはどうしてわかるんだろう
Why is it that I know?
全てのことが走馬灯、胸に残っている
Everything is a revolving lantern, remaining in my chest
僕にはどうしてわかるんだろう
Why is it that I know?
全てのことが色で満ちていたモノクロ
Everything was a monochrome filled with color

Interpretation:

  • Untranslatable Concept (走馬灯 - Soumatou): Literally meaning “revolving lantern,” soumatou is a Japanese idiom used to describe a “life flashing before one’s eyes” (usually during a near-death experience). It implies a rapid, cinematic review of one’s existence.
  • Paradox: “Monochrome filled with color” (色で満ちていたモノクロ) is a powerful oxymoron. It suggests that even in the “colorless” or darkest moments of life, there was an underlying richness and truth that only becomes visible in hindsight.

The Jade Trajectory

あの港から光を手繰って
Pulling the light toward me from that harbor
ここまで来たんだ
I have come all this way
じっと鼓動を聞いていた
I was listening intently to my heartbeat
「僕たちは、翡翠の軌跡を生きている」
“We are living a jade trajectory”
僕にはどうしてわかるんだろう
Why is it that I know?
全てのことが走馬灯、胸に残っている
Everything is a revolving lantern, remaining in my chest
僕にはどうしてわかるんだろう
Why is it that I know?
全てのことがまるで明くる前のよう
Everything is just like the moment before the dawn
僕にはどうしてわかるんだろう
Why is it that I know?
全ての日々がこれとない味のエッセイ
All those days are an essay with an unparalleled flavor
僕にはどうしてわかるんだろう
Why is it that I know?
全ての景色が思い出すためのモノクロ
All the scenery is monochrome, intended for remembering

Interpretation:

  • Symbolism: “Jade” (翡翠 - Hisui) suggests something precious, beautiful, and perhaps eternal. A “jade trajectory” implies that the path we walk—no matter how difficult—is something of immense value.
  • Climax: The song moves from the darkness of “monochrome” to the “moment before the dawn” (明くる前). This symbolizes hope and the realization that the struggle was not in vain.
  • Final Reflection: The song ends by reframing the “monochrome” scenery. It isn’t just empty; it is “intended for remembering,” meaning the struggles provide the necessary contrast to make the memories of life meaningful.

Narrative Structure and Perspective

  • Narrative Technique: The song uses a first-person perspective (“Boku”), creating an intimate, confessional tone. It feels like an internal monologue or a prayer.
  • Timeline: The timeline is non-linear. It oscillates between the present moment of searching, the sensory intensity of a crisis (the storm/sea), and the retrospective “soumatou” (the flash of life). This creates a “stream of consciousness” effect, where memory and reality bleed into one another.
  • Character/Relationship: The “character” is a seeker—someone struggling to reconcile their internal identity with the external world/mission.

Emotional Layers and Atmosphere

  • Emotional Tone: The song transitions from melancholy and confusion to intense, turbulent energy, finally settling into a state of transcendental acceptance and awe.
  • Climax: The climax occurs during the bridge and the final chorus, where the chaotic imagery of the storm and the “revolving lantern” converges into the realization of the “jade trajectory.”
  • Audience Resonance: The song resonates with anyone who has felt lost or questioned their purpose. It validates the “monochrome” periods of life as essential components of a larger, “colored” story.
  • Original Language Feel: The Japanese phrasing uses a delicate balance of poetic, slightly archaic-feeling imagery (like soumatou and sea gods) with modern, conversational structures, giving the song a sense of being both timeless and deeply personal.

Summary

“僕にはどうしてわかるんだろう” is a profound meditation on the human condition. Through the metaphors of color, essays, and revolving lanterns, Vaundy captures the essence of finding meaning within chaos. Whether viewed as a personal journey of identity or a tribute to the high-stakes lives of aviation rescuers, the song suggests that our struggles are not just obstacles, but the very ink with which our life’s “essay” is written. Even in the monochrome moments, there is a hidden color, a “jade trajectory” that we are destined to follow.

References